Chris Milne Writes: Poetry, Philosophy and Essays

I have recently been pondering a deep question about human identity: is it more important to be, or to belong? By be, I mean being an individual. Being in this sense means to recognize and accept your fundamental unique qualities. In other words, to be you. By belong, I mean be a part of something. A mission, a group, an ideology, a religion, a team, etc. Is it more important to be you, or to belong to a group?

Intuitively, I think the answer may be the latter. We as humans are inherently social creatures. We rely on others in a multitude of ways: for food, shelter, unique expertise, for comfort and intimacy, for companionship and sex, and many more things. Therefore, since we have these inherent social needs, it clearly is more important to belong then to be. I think this point can be taken even further to argue that one cannot not be unless they belong. That is, the individual cannot be defined outside of the context of their web of social relations. For we all have a web that we rely on, whether we are introverts or extroverts. This aligns with the philosophy of Ubuntu, for it argues that one is defined through their relation to their group. In the words of Ubuntu: “I am because we are”

This seems to be an intuitive answer for most. We are social creatures, and therefore our sociality trumps our individuality. I want to argue that this is not the case. I think it is much more important to be, then to belong. Of course, my bias may be skewed by my rigid introversion, I shall not deny. But, let me make my case nonetheless.

A feature of western society that is deeply embedded is the idea of liberty. That we all ought to be free from interference in the attainment of our own desired ends. That we are autonomous actors with our own life plans, and we ought to have the right to have the opportunity to achieve those plans. This idea is enshrined in all, if not most of the constitutions of western democracies. We the West are seen much more individualistically than our Eastern brethren. The answer for a lot of Eastern cultures is clearly to belong, as non-western cultures seem to prize the group much more than the individual. But the West does not. Western society, culture, philosophy, etc., sees the individual as the most important locus of change, happiness, and possibility. Therefore, our society prizes them.

But is the individual the most important feature of society? Is it not our collective unity, our nationalism and patriotism; our unified struggle to make the world a more comfortable and enjoyable place that is more important!? The West says no. And this is for a reason that reaches back far into our mythology. With the story of Marduk, Jesus, Odysseus, etc. These individual heroes symbolically represent our worldview of the divinity of the individual. We in the West, view the individual as capable of spurring great upheaval, of inciting great social change and progress. Alexander, Augusts, Napoleon, etc. We recognize that one person can change the world. That we all have the power within us, to enact great change and create great benefit for all. Therefore, our society places primacy in the individual out of respect and reverence for our individual ability to spur great change for the benefit of all. In short, we respect the individual out of hope of the hero – the few who change the world for the many.

Our societal systems are setup in such a way to protect individuals from tyranny, to give them independence in thought and expression. These systems are in place because we see the individual and their potential as divine – as the power to make the world a better place. Therefore, the answer to our question is: it is better to be, then to belong. Why? Because to belong, it may require you to sacrifice what it means to be you. Be wary of any group that asks, or demands, that you sacrifice your individuality for your group identity. For that group no longer recognizes your sanctity, your divinity, your unique potential to benefit the world and therefore, they see you as a pawn – a puppet in the great scheming of continual group domination.

In some sense, to be an individual is a prerequisite to belong. I think our society misses this fact at times. We think that due to our social nature we can unfold our personality, complete the process of individuation through group identity. But alas, one is not an individual when they cannot think for themselves. We are all uniquely equipped with a way to see and interact with the world, and for this worldview to unfold into its mature state, one must think for themselves. One must decide that they are the maker of their world – they must learn that their happiness is in their own hands – that they are solely responsible. And belonging can hold this back, for human group dynamics often include hierarchical power, dominance, and servitude. But most importantly, human groups often deny individual expression, the questioning of authority and dogma, and require immense conformity. Therefore, many groups force individuals to repress their own worldview for that of the groups. As many argue, groupthink makes us blind, tribal, and irrational.

Therefore: be, do not belong. Become the man, woman – nay, the person you are supposed to become! Find out what makes you, you! For we are all one of a kind, in some unique way. Find that thing and expose it. Then express it and celebrate it! For it is your mark, your special identification that you are alive. Your unique potential is the sign, it is the hand on the cave wall, the proof to the world that you were here! That you existed! Not anyone else, only you! SO BE YOU! And find what happens: that you end up belonging. Not to any group, or clan, or religion. You learn that through the process of individuation, you end up belonging to the group of people that too once became individuals. You belong to the group of people that were and are, like you, a voyager of life, a passenger of time and space; you belong to best group of all: the group of people that lived, that loved – you learn that we all belong.