Chris Milne Writes: Poetry, Philosophy and Essays

Written Approx.: May 2021

Sometimes life affords, 
Certain opportunities
You could say, that unfolds
A feeling of immunity.

For when I regress into old ways;
When I repress my feelings
Into myself: and spiral I fall,
Into despair, I can finally declare

With all honesty and clarity
Those things I ravel into a ball!
Those things I want to scream!
Those things I will finally reveal!

That with my certain position:
My disposition, 
My experiences and therefore,
Who I have become. 

I feel alone, often.
That maybe for many reasons.
But one is because things I am lost in
Most people couldn’t care at all.

That the things I see most clearly,
That from my view, feel plain to see;
Are not considered, yet alone verily
Looked at: but by me…

And now, with despair on my shoulder
And the crumbling pain of removal
From the weight of this immense boulder,
I shall state what needs to be said.

From my past, and because of who I am,
I focus, sometimes effortlessly, on action.
Correct action: what I should do and why.
Because I felt alone, different, unlovable. 

And therefore I felt I needed to change!
So try I would. To understand why:
I was different, I couldn’t fit in,
And how to improve.

Because of this fact,
I am interested in human behavior, 
Because deep down, it was all an act:
I just wanted to be loved; lovable…

But nevertheless, my lens was formed.
And interests were curated,
And therefore my position,
Allows me to see clearly. 

You see, I have always
Felt that this age
Is fractured, is isolated,
Not literally. (though maybe currently)

There is one central truth,
That for a human, needs to be answered.
And that is the simple question:
What should I do?

Man, woman, child,
All of our kind,
Need for themself
An answer to this truth. 
And I see no where,
In most major cultures 
A fair answer to this
Ever burning question. 

For in school when a child asks,
“What should I do when I’m older”
A teacher may say with grace,
“What do you want to do?”

As if some kid shall have an idea,
A capable understanding of the world,
To answer such question,
With proper strength.

Why are we so scared,
So hesitant, so resistant
To the idea of providing 
A clear answer!?

This is where my despair arises,
For it is not like we did not know,
That this could’ve been prevented!
We could’ve been prepared!

By this, I mean Nietzsche.
For if I am not mistaken,
Death of our central culture,
Is something to fear.

With the death of Christianity,
The most prominent unified
Social group which also provided
An answer to the yoke.

That central question,
Egging consciousness on. 
Medieval morality had said:
Be a Good Christian!

That was a goal to strive for,
An ethic to follow!
And this truth,
We need to swallow:

All humans need an ethic: an answer to what they should do.
What goals to set,
What ambitions to match!
What principles to embrace,
And stand for in any case!

This is what he feared.
For when this is lost,
Nihilism is found. 
For what the fuck should I do?

There is no morality, 
In our day,
That has the courage 
To dance with the scrouge

Of trying to give a shot!
But alas, that is for another attempt.
My rage is soothing, 
And I feel kempt.

When I feel alone in this world,
The strongest feeling that 
Combats the strangles of loneliness,
Is my oneness.

That in truth, 
We are all brothers and sisters,
A big family
Of kind.

Kind, 
As in
Our species;
We all bleed. We all crave love. We all want people to trust.

We all need food, water and shelter that is clear.
We all want to feel free!
Like we can be whoever we want to be!
And realize our true potential, whatever that may be!

Kind,
As in our shared 
Desire for the treatment
Of people being kind to us.

Why then, do I find 
A world so segregated.
Socially bounded.
Like lines on a map.

Lines carved in sand,
For without a central ethic,
Being provided by Church,
It be proved by Man.

May it be any culture, 
Micro or more.
I find we are further apart,
With nothing to hold back the shore.

Nothing that we can all stand behind,
Nothing that we all, as in humans,
Can find ourselves guided by,
And therefore unified.

We are now:
Our politics,
Our Gender,
Our Ideas,
Our Preferences,
Our Jobs,
Our Wealth,
Our Social Status.

We are isolated and unified.
Small clusters of small groups.
Like the first multi cell organisms:
Together, but alone. 

Why so much disagreement,
So much hostility,
So much self-righteousness, 
So much ego?

Because where is the super ego?
Not in the people themselves, 
But in the culture that
Makes them who they are to become?

Where is the responsibility,
The humility,
The virtues and ethics, 
Of our great ancestors?

Our culture is ripe with systems,
That breed greed,
That create competitive work horses
Who sell their lives for a wage.

With systems that, 
Tell people not to be creative,
That it “won’t make money”
“isn’t attractive to employers”

As if THAT MATTERED?!
How can we be so lost,
So blind, so unbridled,
So advanced yet so behind.

We need a culture:
That will promote responsibility.
That will promote the chasing of the dreams
That the individual has.

For we are all one,
As in individual,
Yet also as in
The same, together.

And each of us, 
As an individual,
Is specifically and individually
Prepared.

For your genes are yours.
And they provide you with the tools,
That you are granted,
And that you must foster.

And with those tools,
You will attempt life.
And you will be shaken,
And individual you will become.

For no one has your genes,
And your experiences also.
And therefore, you alone
Become prepared for a certain task.
And that is your duty,
Your responsibility:
To find your task, 
And overcome.

This place to me,
Is the answer to where we begun:
What shall I do?
I think I am done.