Chris Milne Writes: Poetry, Philosophy and Essays

Written Approx.: November 2020

“Life is granting you her gift, and with that, I, Death, am granting you my promise. That you shall be mine, once she is done with you.”

Chris Milne – ‘The Formation of Existence’

I awaken, unaware of where I am. I look around but cannot discern my environment. Everything seems clouded or fogged. I am standing, looking into this voided space. I do not know who I am, where I am, or how I got here. All I know is that I am. As I am looking around, a figure appears before me. Their skin pale white, with green veins running through their skin. They have green patches all over their body. This figure has a smaller frame, with wider hips, and long supple legs with green veins protruding from their skin. They have blue long hair, green powerful eyes. “Hello, my name is Life” they softly whisper. “You have been given a gift. I have chosen you to exist” they say to me. I am now more confused then when I awoke. “Who am I, where am I, what is this place?” “This is the realm of Life and Death. This is where life is created, and death is taken to. This is where all existence is formed and brought to once it has expired.” “Who am I? Why am I here?” “You are no one, as of yet; you are about to be conceived as we speak, you are about to become a living being. I, your mother, have granted you the gift of life, of existence. I have chosen you.” She put her left hand out, as for me to grab. I reached for her hand. Her hand is soft, and feels comforting to hold. “You are about to be granted this gift of life, and exist in another realm. But first, you must come here and meet me. I meet all my children before sending them to the realm of the living. I like to meet my creations, feel them, be with them in their first moments, before they go off to live.” I felt an odd feeling of peace come over me, I felt grateful to this woman for granting me this gift. I felt euphoric, tranquil, sustained, nourished, calm.

This emotion was interrupted when another figure appears behind me. They are wearing a dark and raggedy cloak. Their skin was dark, and eyes a dark red. Their veins were a bright red, and they had various red patches all over their skin. They had a powerful broad figure, with large arms and wide shoulders, with red patches all along their body. As I was holding life’s left hand, I turned to face the figure. “Hello, I am death. You are about to embark on a journey. You will experience many things, form many bonds. Have many blissful moments, and many hardships. You will laugh, love, enjoy, be thankful, and find peace. You will hate, and scream, and cry, and destroy, and find nothing but a void within yourself. You are about to experience what it is like to be alive. To live a life, and face all the consequences that life has to offer you. But first, you must meet me, for I am death, your father. The ever-looming fact above your head as you experience life. You will forget me but will eventually stumble upon my existence again. You will learn of your own temporal existence, learn of the fate of reuniting with me here, in this place.” Death looked over at Life, then dropped his head and continued speaking: “Life is granting you her gift, and with that, I, Death, am granting you my promise. That you shall be mine, once she is done with you.” I look back at Life. I see a small tear forming in her eye, dropping from those white and green eyes, full of life and joy. It falls down her check, and she wipes it with her other hand. “Is it true life? That I will be reunited with Death one day?” “It is true, my dear child. That is the deal that was forged long ago. That I am able to grant you my gift, with all of my power. To allow you to experience, and to grow. To give you all that I can offer you. But for me to grant you this gift, Death must have his place.” I look back at Death, with my right hand still in Life’s hand. Death looks at me, his brooding foreboding deep red eyes gleaming into mine. I feel an emotion of sadness, despair, loss, grief, remorse. I feel helpless. Then, Death reaches his hand out, and with my left hand, I reach for his. His hand is smooth, and soft. It feels comforting holding his.

 A new feeling is beginning to arise within me. A feeling of eternal peace. With my hands, one in Life’s and one in Death’s, I have an overwhelming feeling of balance. Like this is the exact moment, and place I am supposed to be. Death and Life begin to speak in unison, still holding my hands, with me in the middle facing away from both of them. “In this moment, let life be formed.” As they are speaking, we begin to rise, slowly moving higher and higher. “Let this newly created being experience all life has to offer. Let them live to the fullest that is possible.” We are moving towards a bright light, it is getting bigger and bigger as we move closer towards it. “And when their time has come, let them be reunited with death.” We reach the bright light and I am blinded by it. I cannot see…anything…or anyone… or Life or Death. “Good luck, my child. Make the most out of my gift, life, before you are reunited with death.”